Every morning I wake up to my back carrying the weight of stresses and worries. The weight pulls me down making me heavy, making it impossible to rise back up. The feeling of sickness drowns me but yet is a huge fear of mine. Worries amplified, stacked on top of one another. It’s hard to breathe. With every inhale my ribs are being crushed. Having this on me all the time is exhausting. Dark circles cover my eyes – concealed over everyday.
But I would keep hiding. “Ignore the bags under my eyes, I’ve ran out of concealer.” “Sorry I can’t see you today, I’ve been called into work.” “I’ve left my homework at home, I’ll bring it in tomorrow.” I would say
But I’m at a stage now where I have no energy to hide it. The stress of unfinished work, cancelling plans, working, breathing, it all gets to much. So no, I don’t have the energy to find my concealer after I’ve cried it of. No I haven’t done the homework, I’ve been been busy fighting my own thoughts. Sorry I can’t meet you today, I’ve had a week of restless nights, I’m mentally and physically exhausted.
I need to learn from my past mistakes, that waiting until your physically ill to put yourself first isn’t worth it. N that as soon as everything starts to come to much – speak. Because no one wants a world full of worries and stresses. So each morning, pack that bag sensibly. Don’t let it weigh you down. At times it may be heavier than others, but that doesn’t mean your going to let it crush you.
So relive that pressure you put on yourself. Because you don’t need everyday to be perfect. You just need to learn to put yourself first. So if at times you feel like your loosing everything and the weight on you is to much, remember that trees loose there leaves every year and they stay standing as they wait for better days to come.
Amy’s Blog 