I don’t think people get what it feels like to wake up and already hate yourself. To have dried mascara crusted to your eyes because you didn’t have the energy to wash your face last night and you cried yourself to sleep because that’s the only thing that seems to work. To already be exhaustedContinue reading “One. Two. Three. You’ve got this”
Category Archives: Uncategorized
Not again – surely?
Held underwater? Not again – surely? You let me briefly up for air? God I know this suffocating will never stop. I don’t remember it. The first time it felt like I was drowning. It felt real but not all the way real. I was laughing, well I use to…. Until I drowned in theContinue reading “Not again – surely?”
I miss that one person
I miss that one person Not just a person But the person I used to be. It’s when the waves hit. And it’s not just one. It’s thousands. I tell the missing person, the lost version of me that it hurts like hell. A million thoughts hitting repeatedly with questions over and over. I sayContinue reading “I miss that one person”
I never asked to be a fighter
I never asked to be a fighter. But life had different plans for me. It threw me face down. Real smiles turned to fake And life just laughed and said survive. Each day comes with my mind fighting. Life feels so hard and I can’t understand why. I told myself that everything’s a lot atContinue reading “I never asked to be a fighter”
Maybe one day – it will be okay
I keep telling myself “it is what it is”. A frequent line I keep hearing. But deep down I wish it was different. I don’t want to tell anyone when I’m sad anymore. Because all I want to do is fake a smile. Alone with my thoughts is when I cry, for me to wipeContinue reading “Maybe one day – it will be okay”
A simple smile
I wake up to feel a tone of bricks holding me down. Compressing me like I’m about to take my last final breath. Heart rate thundering – preparing for survival. Survival from the night of hell. But I must keep going. I force myself out of bed. Barely standing. Just wanting to break out intoContinue reading “A simple smile”
In the distance
Me Well, what I can remember what was “me” is somewhere in the distance telling this body which I am surviving in to keep fighting. To keep on breathing, trying, surviving. But how can I when I feel so hollow. When I feel all what’s left is anxious thoughts. Thoughts filled with dread, terror andContinue reading “In the distance”
No matter the struggle
We all have them days when life feels a little to much, We just want to sit in bed and watch tv. However, it isn’t always like this, what if it always feel like to much. How can it be “one of those days” when I feel like it everyday? The aching from a forcedContinue reading “No matter the struggle”
Life
I am stuck in a hole of a never ending darkness, no light and no exit, just cries and loud voices. Dragged throughout the day the tinniest piece of hope, one of these days I’ll be back to me. Temporary smiles and empty laughs, living with no particular destination. Get me out of here, IContinue reading “Life”
You asked, what is the scariest part?
The scariest part is when the path seems too arduous to walk through,And I feel I’ve reached a dead end,With nowhere to go, standing motionless on the pavements,Everything seems downhill, and I begin to descend. The scariest part is when my wings are cut, Watching my spirit fly away, With no needle or thread toContinue reading “You asked, what is the scariest part?”
