I miss that one person
Not just a person
But the person I used to be.
It’s when the waves hit. And it’s not just one. It’s thousands.
I tell the missing person, the lost version of me that it hurts like hell.
A million thoughts hitting repeatedly with questions over and over.
I say it feels like the pain will last forever.
And all ahead is darkness.
And I say that each breath hurts. I know tonight it will be difficult as hell. And so will tomorrow. And maybe the day after.
The missing me is still there though. In a room full of darkness.
She says in the darkness of the room, watching you hold yourself together, trying to ignore the loudness of the anxious thoughts that make you so exhausted you might actually get some sleep tonight.
She says – I want you to believe it won’t always feel like this.
It will all feel a little better soon
Day by day it will shine a little brighter.
All the strength you need is inside you that you need to survive this.
She says, please just keep going.
And if for anyone, for her, I will keep going.
